The Three Little Princesses
by AGP1990
Summary: The Three Little Pigs done in the Marioverse. The song is a parody of "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" ((C) 1933 Walt Disney Music). I've also thrown in quite a bit of Dr. Seuss and Looney Tunes in there, too.


Once upon a time, there were three little Princesses who lived together in college: Peach, Daisy, and Rosalina. After they graduated and got jobs they decided to build their own homes. Rosalina bought enough straw to construct her castle and… done. So with her castle complete, she sang:

"I built my castle of straw

I built my castle of hay

I toot my flute, I don't give a hoot

And play around all day"

Daisy constructed _her_ abode of all the sticks and twigs that the lumberjacks gave away for free, and no sooner had _she_ purchased it than _voilà_! _Her_ castle was done, and she sang:

"I built my castle of sticks

I built my castle of twigs

With a hey-diddle-diddle, I play on my fiddle

And dance all kinds of jigs"

But Peach, though not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, built _her_ castle out of bricks – and _she_ spent _her_ time making them by hand and laying them in place. She had just finished the outside of it when she sang:

"I built my castle of stones

I built my castle of bricks

I've got no chance to sing and dance

'Cause work and play don't mix"

Rosalina and Daisy laughed at Peach and sang in unison:

"You don't take no time to play

Time to play

Time to play

All you do is work all day"

At this Peach retorted:

"You can play and laugh and fiddle

Don't you think you'll make me sore

I'll be safe and you'll be sorry

When the Koopa comes to your door"

But Rosalina and Daisy just laughed and sang:

"Who's afraid of the Big Bad Koopa?

The Big Bad Koopa, the Big Bad Koopa?

Who's afraid of the Big Bad Koopa?

Tra-la-la-la-la"

About fifteen minutes later the Big Bad Koopa, who looked mostly like a turtle with potential traces of dragons and bulls, came up to Rosalina's castle. "Little princess, little princess, let me in," he said.

"Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!" cried Rosalina.

"Then I'll huff… and I'll puff… and I'll burn your castle down; then you'll be homeless in this town!" And with that the Big bad Koopa used his fire breath to burn the straw castle down to ashes. Rosalina fled to Daisy's castle, and told her about what happened. As she finished they heard the Big Bad Koopa. "Little princesses, little princesses, let me in," he said.

"Not by the hair on our chinny-chin-chins!" they cried.

"Then I'll huff… and I'll puff… and I'll burn your castle down; then you'll be homeless in this town!" And just as he had done to the castle of straw, his fire breath burned the castle of sticks to rubble. Rosalina and Daisy ran to Peach's castle and stated what happened.

"What?!" she gasped. "You don't realize that I'm hardly half done with the hallways – and I still haven't got Mario to set up the bathroom! But I suppose that fleeing from the Big Bad Koopa is more important." As she finished she heard a knock at the door. And for the third time that day, it was the Big Bad Koopa. "Little princesses, little princesses, let me in," he said.

"Not by the hair on our chinny-chin-chins!" they cried.

"Then I'll huff… and I'll puff… and I'll burn your castle down; then you'll be homeless in this town!" So he huffed and puffed, but the brick castle didn't even burn, let alone melt. As he was about to give up he came up with an idea… an _awful_ idea. The Big Bad Koopa got **_A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA_**!

"If I can't blow it down," he thought, "maybe I'll blow it up. That's how Bugs Bunny did it." So he got a bunch of Bob-ombs to attack the castle; but unlike what happened in _The Windblown Hare_ , the effort was sadly in vain. The three princesses felt a little rumble, but only for a little while. "If you can't beat bricks," the Big Bad Koopa said sadly, "don't mess with them." And he laid his white flag on the ground in front of the castle. Peach said to Daisy and Rosalina:

"See? I told you what would happen

When the Koopa came around

Only bricks and stones are Koopa-proof

Now at last you're safe and sound"

The Big Bad Koopa decided to give up his villainous life and went into hiding. And so the three little princesses helped Peach finish her castle and lived happily ever after.


End file.
